Are We Really Listening? A Reflection on Anxiety in Horses

One of the things I see most often in horses isn't poor training, bad behaviour, or even a lack of talent.

It's anxiety.

Not anxiety in the way many people describe it. Not simply the horse that spooks, bolts, spins, or reacts dramatically. Those behaviours are often the visible symptoms of something much deeper. What I'm talking about is the horse that struggles to regulate its nervous system in a human-created world.

I think we, as horse mums and dads, need to do better.

We need to become better listeners.

When humans feel worried, overwhelmed, or frightened, we all have different strategies for coping. Some of us seek reassurance from friends. Some exercise. Some retreat and seek quiet. Others become restless, fidgety, emotional, or reactive.

These coping mechanisms are our way of regulating our nervous systems.

Horses aren't all that different.

At their core, they are prey animals. They are biologically designed to detect danger quickly and respond accordingly. Freeze. Flight. Fidget. Fight.

Their survival depends on it.

The challenge is that horses evolved to live in open spaces, surrounded by a herd, with the ability to move freely when they feel unsafe. If something worried them, they could leave. If they felt threatened, they had the security of numbers. Their nervous systems evolved around this lifestyle.

Now consider the world we've created for them.

Fences. Stables. Small paddocks. Yards. Individual housing. Busy competition environments. Constant changes.

Many horses spend significant amounts of time separated from a herd and confined within spaces that limit their natural coping mechanisms. Yet we often expect them to simply adjust and get on with it.

The reality is that many don't just "cope".

They endure. They shutdown. They tune-out.

And often, their anxiety quietly bubbles beneath the surface until it eventually emerges in ways we label as behavioural problems, or they injure themselves.

The Bigger Yo-Yo

Over the years, I've become deeply focused on listening to horses and allowing their behaviour to inform my training approach.

One thing I've noticed repeatedly is that anxious horses often have a much larger "yo-yo effect" within their nervous system.

They become worried very quickly and escalate "loudly".

The problem is not necessarily that they become worried. Every horse will experience moments of uncertainty (huh - not dissimilar to humans!)!

The issue is that many horses don't know how to come back down.

Their nervous systems ramp up rapidly, but they lack the tools, confidence, or guidance to regulate themselves effectively once they're there.

In our domesticated environment, I believe it is our responsibility to help horses learn better self-regulation.

Not by suppressing behaviour.

Not by demanding obedience.

But by teaching them how to navigate pressure, uncertainty, and change with greater confidence.

The goal isn't a horse that never gets worried.

The goal is a horse that can recover.

A horse that experiences less extreme highs and lows. A horse that learns self-soothing strategies and can remain mentally available during challenging situations.

Because when a horse is regulated, learning becomes possible.

Looking Beyond Behaviour

Have you ever stopped to think about whether you train both sides of your horse equally?

Most horse owners handle, lead, saddle, and train predominantly from the left side. We rarely consider what this means for how a horse processes information.

Horses use both sides of their bodies and brains differently. As a result, one side may become more confident, coordinated, and capable than the other.

What happens when one eye processes information differently? Most commonly horses can handle stressors closer to them on the left side of their body whilst the opposite is true for the right side. What happens when a horse has substantially less experience handling visual, auditory, or tactile stimuli on one side of its body?

You often see different nervous system responses emerge.

The horse isn't being difficult.

They're simply telling you they don't feel the same level of understanding, comfort, or confidence on that side.

For me, these moments are opportunities.

Opportunities to listen.

Opportunities to guide.

Opportunities to help the horse find balance.

The Power of Regulation

Much of my work revolves around helping horses spend more time in a regulated state (parasympathetic).

When a horse can remain calmer and more connected, they become better equipped to process training, absorb information, and make thoughtful decisions.

Physically, the benefits can be just as significant.

A horse operating from a constantly anxious state often carries tension, bracing, and defensive movement patterns. That tension affects posture, movement quality, muscular development, compensation patterns and performance.

By helping horses develop better nervous system regulation, we often see softer bodies, improved movement, and greater physical adaptability.

Over time, these changes become habits.

The horse learns how to carry both their mind and body differently.

The result?

Calmer horses.

Happier horses.

Often healthier horses.

And in many cases, horses that are less prone to unnecessary physical strain and injury.

Think of it like trying to catch a madly bouncing ball: the lower it gets to the ground and rolls, the easier it is to collect it and handle it. You don't have to madly work hard, scrambling around trying to catch it. If it is rolling, you can gently cradle it and collect it.

The Magic of Simple In-Hand Work

One of the most underestimated training tools available to horse owners is quality in-hand work.

Simple.

Clear.

Intentional.

Nothing fancy.

I frequently see horses struggling because foundational in-hand work has been rushed, skipped, or undervalued.

Without these skills, horses often lack the confidence, understanding, and body awareness required to manage pressure effectively.

Eventually, their instincts take over.

Freeze.

Flight.

Fight.

Fidget.

The very behaviours we often try to eliminate become amplified because the horse has never been taught a more effective way to cope.

There Is No Silver Platter

When I start working with a horse, my first goal is often what I call resetting the nervous system.

I remove much of the human-driven pressure that horses have become accustomed to. Tools designed purely to create more forward movement, or to face up like a predator, are often replaced with simplicity.

Think of this, when horses are assessing a threat or stress: they face it and put 2 eyes, 2 ears and the body directly at it. That is a nervous system escalation. So if you do this with ground work you are tapping directly into their hard-wired instinct of escalated anxiety and creating it! This is not "submission" or partnership.

Instead of overwhelming the horse, we focus on one to three foundational exercises (and then build).

That's it.

The secret isn't complexity.

It's repetition.

Good repetition.

We know that habits are built through thousands of quality repetitions. Horses are no different.

There is no magical session that fixes a horse.

No overnight transformation.

No silver platter.

Real change requires time, consistency, awareness, and empathy.

That can be difficult for humans because we naturally want results now.

But meaningful progress comes when we stop asking, "How quickly can I fix this?" and start asking, "How can I support and guide this horse?"

From there, I gradually build the horse's ability to process visual, auditory, and tactile information while ensuring both sides of their body are equally understood and developed.

The aim is always the same:

A horse that is balanced.

Responsive.

Confident.

And calm.

Because clear guidance, patience, and intention create understanding.

Without those things, we simply create noise.

Less is Definitely More

This goes hand-in-hand with not overwhelming your horse. LESS IS ALWAYS MORE.

Have a youngster (as in under the age of 6/7)?

They aren't yet fully grown both in body or mind. So if you think taking them to one outing after another, and doing all-the-different things is awesome for them, but wondering why the whites of their eyes are showing or their body is braced... maybe, just maybe, you might not be listening to them clearly saying "I am not coping. Please slow down and help me!"

Have a more senior horse (as in over the age of 16 or so)?

Their body is in the aging part of their life so expect arthritic/joint changes and other glorious things. You know all that beautiful, fancy dressage and hard work they can no longer perform to the levels they maybe gave you in previous years? They just physically can't! And so we must listen, and guide them to work with us so they stay sound and nimble in the body they have.

Adjust to their needs, not your goals or demands.

I appreciate it isn't always the age number, however we must also consider confirmation, breeding, injuries and all those life experiences that may form what you need to do with your horse. But please, pause, and listen to your horse.

Stop and reflect: Ever had that experience as a kid? Not being heard? Whether that was at home, school or anywhere? That's what you are doing to your horse. Be the good partner and friend for them and give them time and space to communicate their needs.

Happy horse, happy course!

More Than an Owner/Trainer

As I've reflected on my approach over the years, I've realised I don't see myself as simply a coach, trainer or horse-owner.

I see myself as a psychologist.

A personal trainer.

A physiotherapist.

A bodyworker.

A partner.

(And Financer!)

My job is to listen.

To guide.

To support.

To help horses navigate a world that was never designed around their needs.

They are not robots.

They are living, feeling, intelligent beings doing their best to make sense of an incredibly human-dominated environment.

The least we can do is give them the time and space to feel heard.

Because when horses feel safe, they learn.

When they feel understood, they try.

And when they feel confident, they thrive.

Perhaps the question isn't whether our horses are anxious.

Perhaps the real question is this:

Are we listening closely enough to hear what they're trying to tell us?