Overthinking & Try Hard in the Saddle: How Our Minds Create Brace, Frustration and Those “Why Aren’t We Progressing?” Moments

Here's to the Overthinkers and "Try Hards"...

I’ll be the first to admit it: I’m an overthinker AND try-hard.

Not the casual kind—the world-class, Olympic‑level kind. And while overthinking is sometimes useful in life, when it comes to training horses… well, it can turn a perfectly good ride into a mental pretzel.

Over time, I’ve realised something important: horses don’t live in our heads—they live in the moment. And when we don’t, the disconnect becomes obvious.

When Overthinking Gets in the Way

If you’re anything like me, you’ve probably felt this:

• You’re riding a movement you’ve practised a hundred times.

• You want it to be better today.

• So you focus… and focus… and focus.

• And suddenly the horse feels tight, distracted or confused.

• You feel frustrated.

• And nothing improves.

This is overthinking at its finest—where intense mental pressure creates brace, not just in your horse, but in your own body.

Horses pick up everything: a clenched jaw, a rigid thigh, a held breath, a looping internal monologue like “Why isn’t this working yet?”

When we mentally spiral:

• our timing gets sticky,

• our cues get louder instead of clearer,

• and our horses respond with resistance, not softness.

It’s never malicious on their part—they’re simply reflecting back exactly the energy we’re giving them.

Hyperfocus: The Hidden Training Blocker

I’ve absolutely been guilty of becoming hyperfocussed on a specific movement or “feel” I’m chasing.

Maybe it’s a lateral step.

Maybe it’s a transition.

Maybe it’s that dreamy softness we tasted once and desperately want again.

But here’s the trap: the harder we chase one tiny detail, the more we unintentionally load pressure onto it.

Hyperfocus often leads to:

• repetition past the point of clarity,

• both horse and human becoming mentally tired,

• the horse anticipating (or avoiding) what’s coming,

• and ultimately a negative association with that movement.

Suddenly, something that should feel fluid and curious becomes heavy and stressful—for both of you.

The “Try Hard” Trap: When Effort Turns Into Pressure

There’s another layer to overthinking that quietly sneaks into the saddle: the “try hard” mindset.

I’m talking about those days when we’re determined to get everything right. We want to show up fully, put in the work, be a good partner for our horse… and ironically, that earnest intention becomes its own form of pressure.

The “try hard” mindset often sounds like:

• “I have to get this perfect today.”

• “I should be better at this by now.”

• “My horse deserves the best version of me, so I need to push through.”

The intention is good — the energy… not so much.

When we try too hard, we create the same kind of internal brace as overthinking. Our body tightens, our movement becomes mechanical, and our horse feels the emotional weight behind our effort. What we intend as dedication can land as tension.

Just like hyperfocussing on a single movement, the “try hard” mindset:

• makes cues feel heavier rather than clearer,

• chips away at softness and curiosity,

• leads to frustration when effort doesn’t equal results,

• and can cause the horse to associate training with pressure rather than partnership.

Horses don’t need us to try harder.

They need us to try softer.

They need us present, breathing, supple, adaptable — not grinding through a mental checklist of expectations.

When we drop that internal push to “achieve”, we create the space for true feel and timing to emerge. We start noticing small tries instead of chasing big breakthroughs. We become more playful, more forgiving, more willing to take the long way around. And funny enough… our horses usually meet that softness with better responses, more willingness, and less brace than any amount of “trying hard” could ever produce. Letting go of the try-hard trap isn’t about being lazy — it’s about trusting the process, trusting the horse, and trusting that progress comes in waves, not rigid lines.

Sometimes the bravest thing you can do in the saddle is simply soften, smile, and allow the ride to be what it is.

The Power of Letting Go

The real magic?

It usually happens when I stop trying so hard.

When I soften my expectations, breathe, and decide “Okay, let’s try something different,” everything shifts. That tightness dissolves. My horse exhales. The partnership resets.

Some of the best tools I’ve found for breaking the overthinking cycle include:

✨ Mixing Up the Training

Swap the dressage circles for poles. Replace repetition with variety. Throw in some groundwork. Let curiosity replace control.

✨ Leaving the Arena

There is nothing like the healing power of fresh air and open space. A simple trail ride can:

• reset a frazzled brain,

• restore softness,

• and remind both of you why you love working together in the first place.

✨ Having a “Fun Friday” Ride

I’ve started calling this my guilt‑free ride day. Think of it as:

• no agenda,

• no pressure,

• no checklist of “things to improve”.

Just you, your horse, a friend, and a shared sense of play.

These rides are often the ones where my horse offers softness freely—not because I asked for perfection, but because I let the partnership breathe.

Progress Isn’t Always in the Precision

Here’s the biggest lesson my overthinking has taught me:

Progress doesn’t only live in perfectly executed movements—it lives in the relaxation, the curiosity, the connection, and the moments where we simply enjoy each other’s company.

When I stop micromanaging every step, I stop blocking the progress I’m so desperately chasing.

Sometimes you need to let go to move forward. Sometimes you need a laugh, a trail ride, or a friend riding alongside. And sometimes… the best training is simply remembering that horses don’t measure success the way we do. They don’t need perfection. They need presence.