Has Politeness Completely Vanished? A Humorous Reflection on Why Everyone Seems to Have Lost the Plot (Especially in the Horse World)

Lately I’ve been asking myself a very serious, highly scientific question: Has everyone lost the actual plot? Like, what the actual fuck?!

Because honestly… the level of rudeness out there right now makes me wonder if basic manners have gone the way of floppy disks and dial‑up internet — nice ideas from a bygone era.

And for reasons unknown to science, horse people seem to have taken this decline in politeness and sprinted with it like their lives depended on it.

Whatever Happened to Pausing Before Responding? Or… Just Not Being Feral?

We have so many tools to help us communicate more politely these days.

You could literally say something like:

“Hey Copilot/ChatGPT/Google, can you help me write a response that doesn’t make me sound like an unhinged gremlin?”

And voilà — instant civility.

But instead, many people appear to think the world is their personal emergency hotline:

• Tap a message.

• Smash send.

• Cause chaos.

• Blame someone else.

Pause? Reflect? Choose kindness?

Nope. Too time‑consuming. Let’s go straight to scorched earth.

When Did Everyone Else’s Last‑Minute Panic Become Your Job?

There’s a special kind of person who will:

1. Ignore the clinic info that’s been lovingly compiled with said step-by-step guides supplied on numerous occasions.

2. Decide at the eleventh hour that they suddenly need everything explained again.

3. Message you five times.

4. Act shocked when you’re not instantly available like an equestrian Siri/Google/Gemini.

Their emergency somehow becomes your problem.

And meanwhile you’re sitting there thinking: “I’m not Google. I’m not your mum. I’m not your therapist. I’m simply the person who organised the clinic you voluntarily signed up for.”

But sure, let me put my entire life on hold because you didn’t read the arrival time.

Why Are People Second‑Guessing Basic Information Like They’re Auditioning to Be the Bureau of Meteorology?

You provide roadwork warnings. Someone decides their cousin’s friend’s neighbour might know better.

You provide arrival times. Someone sends it to their group chat for “validation.”

You provide parking instructions. Someone demands to know why they can’t park their extra‑wide float shaped like a small aircraft wherever they feel like it.

Since when did basic, helpful information require a community inquiry?

It’s a clinic/[insert whatever event you are going to], not a Senate hearing.

Let’s Talk About Cliques, Toxic Micro‑Cultures, and Keyboard Warriors With Too Much Free Time

There’s nothing quite like a keyboard warrior backed by their loyal committee of drama‑gremlins. These people:

• Type like they’re competing in the Olympics.

• React as if every comment is a personal attack.

• Take screenshots faster than a teenager trying to catch someone cheating.

• Form micro‑cultures so intense they could probably apply for statehood.

Say one tiny, neutral sentence like: “Please park on the left.”

And suddenly you’re starring in a full‑blown conspiracy theory: “Why the left? What’s she trying to imply? Is she targeting people who float on the right?!”

Calm down, [insert whatever name you want here]. It’s a driveway, not a political statement.

The Magical Ability to Assume the Absolute Worst

One of the greatest mysteries of modern horsemanship is how quickly people jump to disaster‑level conclusions.

You could post: “Rider lists are coming out tomorrow.”

And someone, somewhere, will declare: “Oh. So I guess you’ve cancelled my lesson and personally removed me from the schedule out of spite.”

Tomorrow, biatches. The list is literally coming out tomorrow. You’re not being persecuted. You’re being impatient.

Can We Also Talk About the Wild Habit of Attacking Equine Photographers?

And while we’re discussing questionable behaviour, can we take a moment for one of the horse world’s most baffling phenomena?

People absolutely losing their minds when a photographer politely asks them not to steal images.

Yes, this has happened to me but has happened to other reputable equine photographers in the Canberra region I know well. I got you fellow 'Togz!

You’d think the request was outrageous: “Hey, please don’t crop out my watermark or repost my paid work without a licence.”

Totally reasonable. Completely fair. Basic copyright 101.

But somehow, this triggers a level of fury usually reserved for someone announcing they’ve doubled the price of petrol in Australia... too soon to use that pun...

Suddenly the photographer — the person who literally stood in the sun, dust, rain, and emotional fallout of warm‑up arenas — is treated like the villain for expecting to be paid for their work (um, because the person using it without paying is performing the illegal act and is completely not at fault, right?).

The reaction is always dramatic:

• “How dare you message me!”

• “I don't remember giving you permission to photograph me” [after reading and signing a license usage agreement which clearly states copyright and use along with permissions]

• “I didn’t know that watermark meant anything!”

• “All I saw was free use!” [missed the wording being Copyright Protected or Personal Use Licensing]

• “Well I found it online, so it’s basically public property!”

• “You’re attacking me!” (…even though they’re the one using someone else’s work without permission.)

• [INSERT BLOCKED ON SOCIAL MEDIA - OH YES, DIS HAPPENS!]... the easy way to deal with your own accountability? Sure......

It’s honestly bewildering, and seriously? Are we dealing with chadults now (children-adults)?

You wouldn’t walk into a tack shop, grab a bridle, and yell at the staff when they ask you to pay for it. But somehow when it’s a photo? WOOF. Chaos. Rage. Full emotional unravelling.

Here’s the truth: Photographers aren’t being “dramatic.” They’re not “picking on people.” They’re not “ruining the fun.”

They’re just legally protecting the work they create — the same way riders protect their horses, coaches protect their methods, and float owners protect that perfect park‑in-the-shade spot.

It’s really simple:

If you love the photo, respect the photographer. If you use the photo, pay for the photo and even tag them on social media when you use them. If someone kindly reminds you of that, maybe… don’t bite their head off.

Politeness Isn’t Dead… It’s Just on Life Support

The odd thing is, most of these scenarios could be avoided with one simple ingredient: basic politeness.

Not Shakespearean eloquence. Not a 14‑step mindfulness routine. Just… pausing long enough to avoid typing something that reads like it was written during a full‑moon meltdown.

But instead, we get:

• Snappy replies.

• Assumptions delivered with the force of a runaway Clydesdale.

• Paragraphs of indignation over things no one actually said.

It’s exhausting. I’m tired. My eyeballs are tired. My phone battery never stood a chance.

Maybe — Just Maybe — We Can All Do Better

Look, the horse world is passionate. Passion is lovely. Passion is why we wake up early, tolerate mud in our socks, hay in our bras and undies, and spend more money on supplements, pedicures and all the thingz for our horses than we do on groceries for ourselves.

But passion doesn’t require rudeness. Urgency doesn’t require hostility. And asking questions doesn’t require treating someone like they’ve personally destroyed your hopes, dreams, and plans for the weekend.

Maybe the plot isn’t completely lost. Maybe it’s just… slightly misplaced under a pile of unnecessary panic and late‑night overthinking.

A Quick (and Important) Note: It’s Not All Horse People

Now before anyone clutches their pearls, tightens their noseband, or drafts a 17‑paragraph Facebook comment defending their honour — let me be very clear:

Not everyone in the horse world behaves like this. In fact, many of you reading this are the exact opposite — calm, reasonable humans with functioning social skills and the ability to read a clinic info sheet without combusting. (And yes, I see you. I adore you. Please don’t leave me.)

This whole post is written with a bit of humour because, honestly, if we didn’t laugh about the chaos, we’d probably cry… or take up something relaxing like competitive cheese rolling (no offense to people who enjoy this as their past-time >> go you!).

But let’s also be real for a second: There are parts of the horse world — some interesting instances in the Showing/Dressage scene — where the behaviour goes beyond simple forgetfulness or the occasional panicked message. Some of it is deliberate, and that’s where things get less funny.

You know the situations I mean:

• People forming tight little circles of “approved” riders.

• Others being quietly pushed out, ignored, or talked about behind the warm‑up arena.

• Riders being torn down for daring to succeed or even try.

• And when the behaviour gets called out?

Suddenly everyone comes down with a mysterious case of Selective Accountability Disorder.

It’s not misunderstandings. It’s not stress. It’s not a misread emoji.

It’s intentional — and that’s a whole different beast.

The irony is that these same people could probably deliver a flawless workout, plait in complete darkness, and glue on false tails with military precision, but cannot for the life of them utter one simple word:

“Sorry.”

Apparently owning up to poor behaviour is more difficult than getting a pony club kid to stop feeding their horse 47 carrots before a class.

But, to balance the ledger: For every clique‑captain or drama‑distributor, there are far more wonderfully kind, helpful, quietly brilliant horse people who make this community worth staying in.

People who:

• Offer to help a stranger fix their forelock plait.

• Cheer when someone else’s horse goes well.

• Hold a horse whilst they utilise an urgent facility break!

• Share float parking like they’re offering a piece of their soul.

• Say “well done” or “good luck” and actually mean it.

Those are the people this industry should revolve around. And thankfully — they still exist. In abundance and pockets around the Globe.

Final Thought: Manners Are Free, Drama Is Expensive

Next time you’re about to fire off a message that reads like it was fuelled by adrenaline and spite, (or send any message really?!) try this instead:

• Breathe.

• Count to three.

• Ask yourself: “Would I say this out loud to someone standing in front of me whilst I'm holding a pitchfork?”

• If the answer is no… rewrite (or use Co-Pilot/ChatGPT/Google/tools available to us all... the choice is yours!), or bloody sleep on it!

  • You might not even need to respond! Lick and chew on that for a bit peoples!

A little politeness goes a long way — especially in a community that is, at baseline, one loose girth strap away from chaos.

Enjoy this last video for a good giggle: https://www.facebook.com/share/r/1EPhaT48FV/