Letting Go of the Handbrake: A Humbling Horse Journey

Reflecting on Old Riding Habits and Embracing Better Ways for Our Horses

For as long as I can remember, horses have been at the heart of my life. There’s nothing quite like the feeling of connection, freedom and partnership that comes from working alongside these magnificent animals. But with every journey, there are moments that stop us in our tracks—hard realisations that challenge everything we thought we knew. Today, I want to share the toughest lesson, and an honest truth, I’ve learned as a rider: discovering that I was taught ,early on, to ‘ride with the handbrake on’.

The Hardest Realisation: Riding with the Handbrake On

It was a phrase that stuck with me the moment I heard it—‘riding with the handbrake on’. For years, my riding education revolved around strong leg pressure and heavy bridle contact. It was normalised; it was what everyone around me was trained and seemed to do. I was told, “Squeeze harder”, “Hold them together”, “Ride/push/drive them into the bridle”, as if controlling every moment was the secret to good horsemanship. Looking back, I realise I was asking my horse to move forward with constant restraint, brace and tension, while never allowing true freedom or trust in our partnership. This then felt like a constant "heavy" and "holding" feeling in the reins. It was bloody hard work for me and definitely not nice for my horse.

This is an extreme example (note: this isn't me or my horse) of a poor choice in bit/bridle, and it also illustrates what 'riding with the handbrake on' looks like.

Notice the indicators:

• the thick under neck (down near where the reins make contact to the horse's neck)

• the strong tension in the reins from bit to the rider's hand (there is no 'give' or space for the horse to mobilise)

• the stress wrinkles above the eye

• the whites of the eyes

• the wrinkles near the throat lash

Why This Approach Falls Short

While this way of riding is common, it’s far from ideal. Horses, sensitive creatures by nature, thrive on clear, gentle communication and trust. Heavy leg cues and strong rein contact might ‘get the job done’ in the short term, but it comes at a cost. I began to notice the subtle signs—tight muscles, bracing or holding/chomping on the bit, pinned ears, anxious eyes. My horse wasn’t relaxed or happy; he was tolerating my demands rather than willingly responding to them. It hit me that my methods, though well-intentioned at the time, were out of sync with what was best for my horse’s welfare.

Another example of leg on and hands on with no release

Being Humbled and Choosing Change

Admitting I’d been doing things the wrong way wasn’t easy. There’s a certain humility required to acknowledge that years of practice, tradition and even hard-earned ribbons don’t always equal the best for our horses. The process of learning softer, more enlightened methods was deeply humbling. I had to unlearn old habits, ask for help, and be open to feeling uncomfortable—and sometimes downright awkward—while retraining both myself and my horse. But with every small change, I saw positive shifts. My horse became calmer, more responsive, and our relationship grew stronger.

For the Sake of the Horse: Putting Well-being First

What matters most isn’t our pride or sticking to tradition—it’s the well-being of the horse. Horses are generous souls; they forgive our mistakes time and again. They deserve riders who listen, adapt, and put their needs ahead of old habits. Choosing lighter aids, seeking clarity and softness, and letting go of the ‘handbrake’ doesn’t just make us better riders; it honours the trust our horses place in us.

Encouragement to Others: Dare to Change for Your Horse

If you’re reading this and recognising bits of your own journey, I encourage you: don’t be afraid to reflect, question and change. It’s not easy to step outside the familiar, but growth never happens in comfort. Ask yourself if your riding fosters relaxation and joy for your horse, or if old habits are holding both of you back. Reach out, learn, and surround yourself with people who prioritise horse welfare above all. Every bit of progress is worth celebrating—for you and for your horse.

I will go out on a limb and say that this riding approach is seen more often than I care to consider in today's equestrian worlds—mainly showing and dressage (even up to the "professional" levels). This will often be seen in the horses with a heavier built under-neck (think what it is like when you retract your head and get all those double chins—how do you feel in this position? Not great huh?), and their back/topline look like an upside-down banana.

Looking back, this ‘riding with the handbrake on’ also created extra nervous behaviour in my horse. Who would've thunk it, right? But amazing when you can say, I no longer do that or ride without the awareness of what my horse is 'telling' me through their body language.

The first step is awareness. Take some time to reflect on how you ride or work with your horse. What do you notice? Be conscientious and do something about it! The power is in your hands!

Thankfully this ‘riding with the handbrake on’ approach in my own riding is way behind me now. However, it is always good to be mindful of this riding approach and to not slip back.

Loz riding bitless and an example of not 'riding with the handbrake' on

Conclusion: The Ongoing Journey of Horsemanship

Horsemanship isn’t about reaching a destination; it’s about constant learning, adapting, and striving to do better. The hard realisations may sting, but they also open doors to deeper understanding and greater partnership. Let’s keep asking what’s best for our horses, stay humble in our pursuit, and embrace change—for the love of the horse, and the joy of the journey.