Dealing with Drama Queens at the Horse Agistment Centre: How to Stay Above the Fray

Tips for Staying Calm and Setting Healthy Boundaries

If you’ve spent any time at a horse agistment centre or barn (or even compeitions/shows), chances are you’ve encountered a drama queen/king (or two). These are the folks who thrive on stirring the pot, blowing things out of proportion, or pulling others into their emotional whirlwind. While a bit of banter is all part of the Aussie stable culture, drama can quickly ruin the vibe for everyone. Here’s how to deal with drama queens gracefully, steer them in a better direction, and know when it’s time to loop in the manager or owner.

Recognising the Drama Queen

Drama queens aren’t always easy to spot at first. Sometimes, their behaviour may start off as harmless gossip or a few complaints or even be the first person to socialise with you (sometimes quite over-the-top in style), but it can escalate to constant negativity, conflict with others, even spreading rumours, or flip-flopping emotionally on topics. If someone’s antics are making the agistment centre feel tense or uncomfortable, it’s important to address it early before it affects your enjoyment or your horse’s wellbeing.

Being the Better Person

It can be tempting to get sucked into the drama or to fight fire with fire. Instead, try to:

• Stay Neutral: Don’t take sides or add fuel to the fire. If you’re drawn into a rant, listen politely but don’t engage or escalate the situation.

• Set Boundaries: Politely excuse yourself if the conversation turns negative. Try saying, “I’m just here to enjoy time with my horse and need to go check on them" or "what lovely things are you grateful for today?”

• Lead by Example: Demonstrate calmness, kindness, and respect. Others may follow your lead.

• Have an Exit: If engaged in conversation with a drama queen, have a planned way to exit safely and quickly. Try things like "Oh look at the time?! I need to go finish feeding to get home for a planned dinner date. Catch you next time."

• Offer Support (if appropriate): Sometimes, drama stems from personal struggles. We all have those! If you feel comfortable, gently encourage the person to focus on solutions or to seek help outside the barn environment.

Helping Them Handle Their Own Drama

If the drama queen is open to feedback or seems genuinely upset, you might be able to help them develop healthier ways to cope:

• Encourage them to talk directly (and calmly) to the person they have an issue with, rather than involving others.

• Suggest taking a break or going for a ride to cool off.

• Remind them (gently) that everyone is there for the horses, not for conflict.

When to Raise Concerns with the Manager or Owner

Most issues can be handled with a bit of patience and positivity. However, if someone’s behaviour is:

• Threatening the safety of people or horses

• Bullying, harassing, or intimidating others

• Consistently disrupting the peace and making the centre an unpleasant place

It’s time to have a quiet word with the agistment centre manager or owner. Document specific incidents if needed, and approach the manager calmly and professionally. After all, it’s in everyone’s best interest to maintain a safe and welcoming environment.

Quick Dos and Don’ts

Do	Don’t
Stay calm and polite	Feed the gossip or drama
Set clear boundaries	Take sides or retaliate
Lead by example	Air grievances publicly
Raise concerns when necessary	Let things escalate to unsafe levels
Have a good exit strategy when in conversations

Remember, the agistment centre should be a relaxing place for both you and your horse. By staying above the drama, you’ll help create a positive, supportive community—and maybe even inspire the drama queens to rein it in a bit. Happy riding!